‘It always seems impossible until things are done.’ This was what it was like to me before attending the Dynamic of Leadership course. After endless days and nights of riding intellectual waves and devoting hours of mental and emotional energy on this course, it finally came to an end. Thank God for everything and now, as we have reached the end of our course, I have recorded my thoughts and reflections of this learning journey.
Do feel free to enjoy reading snippets of my thoughts.
You may read my weekly reflections here. 🔗
And my overall course reflection below.
Leadership💪, Education📚 and Me👧
I believe I am not born a leader. I do not even like the idea of being a leader. To me, getting things done is better than learning a bunch of theories. It almost felt like theories are meant for brainwashing but not to promote efficiency and effectiveness. Therefore, despite all other 'better' (in eyes of the other) career choices, I've chosen to work with little children, to be a teacher for the primary school.
However, this course has provided me new insights where I now believe I am a leader in my classroom, and also a middle team leader in my profession. By learning about leadership, I also can excel in my comfort zone, which is being a good follower with good leadership skills. From absolutely detesting the idea and refusing the role of being a leader to acceptance and embracing the idea, it was indeed a paradigm shift.
What I have learnt?
(1) the definition of leadership, where there isn't a perfect definition to leadership
(2) leadership traits and ethics, my favourite topic, where I reconfirmed my INFJ-T and contentiousness personality
(3) leadership, behaviour and motivation, where I realised how I lead my Level 1 and Level 2 classes differently (autocratic and democratic)
(4) power, politics, networking and negotiation, where classmate Kak Olya shared a wonderful fairy tale and made me understand how good leaders work their way up through negotiations.
(5) contingency leadership, where I focused on how situational theory can be related to the 21st century education
(6) communication, coaching and conflict skills, which I think is the most important skills not only to be a great leader, also to maintain interpersonal relationships
(7) dyadic relationship, which seems so intimidating but actually talked about simple leader-follower relationship, the quality of it and how to 'make it big' and 'make it work' in the bigger picture
(8) team leadership, important because no man is a deserted island so self-managed team, multidisciplinary team and functional team should be formed in completing tasks together.
(9) leading self-managed teams, my favourite kind of team as it has lots of freedom and trust
(10) transformational leadership, where 'Harry Potter' style leadership is promoted; and
(11) Level 5 leadership, which discusses a pyramid that tells about the hierarchy of capabilities and traits of great leadership.
What I have done throughout the course?
Allow me to bring you back to my highlight moments! 💫💫 💛💜
💓Which topic I like the most.
Topic 2 - Traits and personality. That's why I picked that topic for presentation! 😏
I enjoyed this topic very much because it describe the nature of human mind. It is easily understandable and it make sense. Everyone of us has traits that we are proud of, and of course not so proud of. These traits affect our decisions and decide what kind of leader we are going to be. The traits theory is like the basic of everything else. I redo the Myer Briggs Personality test and I am still an advocate, an INFJ-T. But, nowadays, I am even more introverted and even more judging than before. Also, the T for Turbulent describes me perfectly.
💙Which leadership style I practise the most.
There's a mixture of everything because I am different when I am with different people. I am sometimes and autocratic teacher and sometimes a democratic one. It all depends on what we are doing and who my followers are.
Isn't that SITUATIONAL LEADERSHIP? Coaching, directing, supporting and delegating. These are what I do everyday, just like how I have elaborated in my short talk.
I think teachers are all situational leaders nowadays, only that we are not aware of the proper term. There's no one style that suits all in teaching and learning. I enjoy exploring different leadership style with different kids. That's the fun in being a teacher. Be flexible and be a great teacher!
💚Which leadership style I wish to practise in my life.
I have a need for achievement like Iron Man. I like having small goals, it gives me sense of achievements. I have weekly to-do checklist and I have yearly resolution to life and to career. I need to assure myself very often that I am on the right path by ticking all the checklists.
I wish to be like Harry Potter with transformational leadership. I wish to be humble and selfless like Harry Potter. I wish to share my goals with my little ones. I've always have the same goal since the beginning of my teaching career and I often share it with my kids, as below:
'Education provides a chance to change, but good academic is not everything is the world. We don't need to be super good in everything but we need to have passion in something we do. Study now, so you get to do what you are passionate to in the future.'
I also aspire to reach Level 4 or 5 in Level 5 leadership. Being an Level 4 or Level 5 leader doesn't mean that I have to hold super important or super high stake jobs. I can be a Level 5 leader of my small team in my organisation. We will be the little screw that makes the machine works well.
💛Anything most interesting?
Definitely! There's three little things that I especially love!
Firstly, the Stockdale Paradox. I was very attracted to the idea of Stockdale Paradox. It describes me in my current 'young life crisis' where I find a lot of things confusing and hard to accept. Life isn't rainbows and sunshine. The perfectionist me feel hard to love this fact that life can be a constant struggle. The melancholy me tells me to sulk in my sorrow. But I must stand strong and continue. To be the leader of my life, I need to take control of my emotions running wild. As the Stockdale Paradox suggest, it is going to be fine in a while. 🌈🌈
Also, the Hedgehog Concept. I wish to be like a hedgehog, focus on essentials and ignore the rest. Know capabilities, effectiveness and passion of people and organisation. I am being a little too oversensitive towards people's emotions nowadays and that is not helping with my personal growth nor my attempts to stabilise my emotions. 🦔🦔
And lastly, the Pygmalion effect. I have goals, mainly for personal growth. Those are goals that my loved ones share and encourage me to achieve. So, I am 'Pygmalion' myself everyday so that I could fulfil this self-fulling prophecy. I especially like this quote, 'Fake it till you make it.' 💃💃
Big things often have small beginning. 💪💪
Why is it important to learn about leadership?
Leadership help me to understand the choices behind my actions and and the reason behind how other people acts. That helps to improve our own leadership style and understand the leadership style of others. With that come effective task delegation and better communication, also lessen conflicts and eventually improve work performances. Those are the very truthful and cold official statements.
Let me elaborate a little more. To me, learning about leadership can allow me to be a better teacher and more importantly, a happier human being.
Before I learn about leadership, teaching is MY profession and I often put MYSELF in the center of the circle in all reflections and considerations. I think, I have put me too much in my teaching and learning. And with my personality, highly conscientious and very much neurotic, I give myself too little credit for what is done well and blame myself too much in whatever that is not according to plans. I am not very happy in my life and it is sometimes tough for me to continue.
With my good grades and all the continuous professional learning, I believe that all the professional training does help me to be a very decent teacher, with good pedagogy skills, expertise in subject matter and lesson plannings. However, I can only be a good teacher but not a happy one. That's because, I did not fully understand and embrace myself as a leader in my profession. How so?
By not understanding my personality, I allowed myself to dwell and swell in sorrow when mistakes happen. I do solve the problem immediately (my conscientious side working), but I could not let of of the guilt for a very very long time(my neurotic side making troubles). Without understanding of my own leadership style, I was timid because I wanted to avoid mistakes, conflicts and everything else unpleasant. I only cared about how others think, not trying to stand straight and proud to be the leader. Without understanding about leadership, I did not realise that there are so many external factors that could affect efficiency, effectiveness and work performance. In the long run, I lost my passion and my love towards the profession, even found it meaningless to continue. 😕😕
And so I've changed. I still could not be brave and like my role as a leader, but I believe I was given a chance to start anew. To rest well, to reflect, to improve and to be a happier teacher. In a nutshell, learning about leadership does not only make changes to career, it could make a different to life as well. If only, one willing to open his heart and reflect. Make a change! 💪💪
Each journey has an end and now we have come to the end of the journey. 😎😎
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my lecturer, Dr Habibah, for all the interesting experience she shared. She's indeed a a good leader that steer us towards the right path. Thank you, for all the patience and love that you've showed us.
Also, my appreciation goes to my group members, Vicky, Melody and Mong, for their support and help all the way throughout the course. Thank you for the great collaboration and support!
Lastly, I would like to share a quote from Walt Disney that I find very relevant to whoever finding their ways in life. "If you can dream it, you can do it." Be confident and be positive. Be a good leader of our lives. 💕
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